Let us choose to be happy!
There is no one in the world who does not want to be happy. There is none who does not seek happiness. However, there are not many who are happy and there are very few who are always happy. What is this happiness which everyone seeks which seems to elude everyone? The scientist says that happiness is the result of a chemical reaction in the brain. The philosopher warns that happiness is fleeting. We do listen to both and continue to pursue happiness. What is it that really makes us happy?! The hungry beggar’s contorted face brightens up when food falls into his bowl. The cold palm of the gambler warms up when the dice obeys his command. The lost child, on spotting its mother, rushes into her arms in tearful joy. The poet feels that he is the most blessed soul on earth, when he remembers the lines that struck him in his dream. The long distance runner loses his consciousness when his heaving chest braces the tape at the end of a never-ending run. The waiting lover, wakes up from an abyss of depression to a riot of joy when she spots the smiling reflection of her lover in the trembling waters below. In every pursuit, the element of happiness changes its form and colour but the impact is all the same. Yes, there are no thoughts in the moment of happiness. But then, is happiness the end of something or the beginning of something else? Is it a twilight zone where the previous state is a blurring memory and what ensues is still unperceivable?
Is it because we are unhappy that we seek happiness? Are we not seeking happiness even after we are happy? The aftermath of a drunken night is full of pain but as soon as he recovers, the drunkard looks for his bottle. We say we eat to our heart’s content. A few minutes later, the taste buds start nagging us for a snack. We chased the dream of becoming a millionaire; but, after becoming one, we continue the chase for more millions. And, we always want things in variety! This means we want more and more of the same happiness through more means. To be more precise, we want happiness to be persistent, permanent! This frail human trait is our scruff which is in the grip of destiny. This is why man runs hither and thither. On closer observation, we understand he is not searching but is being chased by an invisible force. If we look carefully, we realize that it is not invisible after all. It is his undue craving for pleasures or uncontrollable thirst for sense-gratification that victimizes him. This is why any amount of happiness does not satisfy him. He is always tossed between what he calls his happiness and what he considers as it’s opposite, called sorrow. When we understand that pleasure is not happiness, sorrow is another face of happiness and the interim period is not peace but fatigue, we come to grips with the concept of happiness.
Let us understand this clearly:
- Human being’s design:
- It is all in the brain:
- Shifting the focus:
- Is not peace the solution?
If we want to be happy, we have to overcome or master our very design. If so, we must understand how it all begins.
We have a body. ‘By design, all our senses are focused outward.’ As there is life in the body there is consciousness. While consciousness is deep and vast, containing many layers, it wakes up an energy called mind. Thus, mind is the outer periphery of consciousness. Now, we keep looking at the objects of the world constantly. The senses make the contact which is reported to the mind. Mind, which is nothing but an energy-field of ceaseless thoughts, starts creating a specific pattern of thought, due to the presence of tendencies based on previous memories. It is this which propels us into action. Every action brings in its wake a chain of consequences. Soon, we are lost in the mire of thoughts. As they are too many, pulling us in too many directions, we lose our focus entirely. Thus, our life becomes a sad tale of endless tossing!
If we analyze carefully, we can clearly see that the problem starts when we dwell on an object unduly. Seeing a thing is far different from sticking to it! It is this undue dwelling on an object that gives rise to desires. Generally, the devil of desire has four faces: One, “I want to have this.’ Two, ‘I am afraid I will lose this.’ Three, ‘I must have more of this than anyone else.’ And four, ‘I alone must have this.’ Thus, desire leads to attachment; attachment causes fear of losing; from fear, hatred emerges; the fire of anger that accompanies hatred distorts discretion; with the loss of discretion, man is gone!
What is proposed here is not negation but appropriate satiation. One can certainly enjoy good food and a comfortable couch. There is nothing wrong in it; but, if we give in, we are running a risk! Man can enjoy a comfort but if the absence of that comfort is going to make him fret and fume, he is unwise. For, craving is not only a sign of weakness; it is investing in unhappiness or sorrow! Thus, we should know the difference between desire and need. Food, clothing and shelter are needs; we can include even a few luxuries into this list. But, craving for more and more of these things is arising not out of need but from uncontrollable desire. Every desire is a hole in the boat we have hired in our journey across the sea!
Therefore, the teaching here is ‘not to look at anything in particular.’ Absence of the sense of possession or ownership is the secret of enjoyment. The wise men would ask, ‘When your senses peep out, why should you pop out?’ What does mastery over senses, the body and mind mean? Giving them what they deserve and not what they demand! Therefore, by fulfilling their needs without giving in to them, by ‘appreciating beauty without getting personal,’ and by not letting our mind dwell on any object unduly, we can remain happy.
There is another way of looking at this phenomenon and handling it:
Mind is the functional aspect of brain. It is the central nervous system that is responsible for everything about us. If happiness is merely the result of a chemical reaction in the brain, why are all of us not happy and why is it not possible for us to be always happy? It means – though all our brains are of the same design, we are wired differently. Another important element of the brain is the life force which becomes more perceivable as breath.
Both mind and breath are energies; both hail from the same source, viz., the brain; thus both influence each other; it follows that by controlling one, we can contain the other. Not many of us have the capacity for dispassionate and non-stop observation of our thoughts which leads to a dynamic stillness. Speaking simply, the mind-control methods are really mind boggling. If we want to keep our cool, the easier option is to regulate the breath. This is something any of us can do, anywhere, anytime! If we observe breath, we start breathing consciously. Regular, scientific breathing ensures adequate supply of oxygen to the brain through blood. It helps in expelling toxins that are stuck in the system which cause mood swings. It blows away the cobwebs in the brain, enabling us to think clearly. On the way, we realize that we have not been thinking at all but being swayed by thoughts that seem to attack us like a disturbed beehive! Soon, we reach a state when we are able to employ thoughts when necessary or respond without exercising the mind. This is a time tested method of remaining happy.
Of course, this demands constant attention and practice. But, it is certainly a better option than the mad pleasure-chase that drives us madder!
It is not situations but selfishness that is the reason for our unhappiness. The average human being is so obsessed with himself, his comforts, his desire fulfilment and his close relationships that he constricts an otherwise vast consciousness into a choking cocoon. Swami Vivekananda says, “They live who live for others. All the rest are more dead than alive.” Many of the great men whom we know were not scholars or millionaires or holding high offices. Their outer life was no different from ours. In fact, many of them had a very poor or tough life. If so, what made them great? They understood that inter-dependence is the central theme of life in cosmos. They saw that the mineral, the plant, the animal and the human kingdoms are mutually inter-dependent. They realized that the well being of an individual is directly dependent on the welfare of the society as a whole. They were convinced that if they contributed to the general cause, their personal cause would be automatically taken care of. This understanding inspired them to shift their focus from them towards others. Thus, their entire life was spent as a contribution to the welfare of the society. Such men turned out to be scientists, soldiers, social workers, school teachers and saints.
In short, they derived happiness by working for others’ happiness. Self-effacement therefore, is the surest route to lasting happiness.
The mistake most of us commit is to ask for something, so that they can be happy, instead of asking for happiness straightaway. Every day, it is being proved that if we depend on something for deriving happiness, such happiness would be short lived. Unfortunately, neither the millionaires nor the scholars seem to realize this. Anything that we acquire demands maintenance. Not only that, either the material things leave us or we leave them at death. Either of this is an immense possibility in anyone’s case. This is why people who have everything seem to be unhappy. Their face is full of concern and they are tossing in their quilted bed while the poor shepherd sports the richest smile in the world as he sleeps blissfully under the shade of a small tree, keeping his elbow as his pillow! By not getting what we want, we become unhappy. But it is the futility of ceaseless acquirements that leads us to sorrow. We reach a stage where we cannot consume what we have, we do not want to share, we have no use for most of it and on top of it all, we are afraid of losing them! It is here that happiness emerges as sorrow.
If we want to be happy, we should just be happy! There is no other way!
When we look below, we see millions of people who do not have even one meal a day; they live amidst squalor; there is no one to love them genuinely; their very existence looks like a relentless curse. On the other hand, most of us have everything in plenty, in comparison. We have a problem of choice. They have no choice over their problems. If we remember this, we will realize that at any point of time in our life, we have at least a hundred reasons to be thankful to God. Our personal complaint about lack of happiness will be replaced by a sense of guilt, if we care to look at others.
This does not apply to material situations alone. Even in matters of knowledge and concepts, we have the same conflicts. There are two reasons which would explain this malady. One is our pettiness of looking at everyone and everything with a measuring stick. The second is our failure to look up. The solution is also two folded. If we understand that every human being is a separate design, an individual energy system, we will throw away the measuring stick, stop being judgemental and will remain happy. Likewise, whenever we feel that we know everything, if only we care to just look up, we will see thousands of giants who have been making immense contributions in every field. A simple readiness to enjoy the company of others with an open mind and the keenness of a fresh student in learning something from everyone would keep us happy.
According to our ancestors, one can be called a human being only when he is unconditionally good. A person who practises human values and strives to improve them in him will never suffer from want of happiness. If a person learns to perform his given duties towards everyone equally and joyously, he is happy. And, if he also knows that he owes a primary responsibility to himself, his happiness lasts forever. Our illustrious predecessors have also declared that active concern for the welfare of all living beings is the duty of every individual. Active concern is nothing but conscientious citizenship which consists of remaining alive to circumstances in all directions, responding to happenings, reacting to occurrences and always endeavouring to be useful for others. A good citizen therefore, is a very active human being and essentially a happy soul.
Thus, while we do not deny the scientist’s view that happiness is the result of a chemical reaction in the brain, or the philosopher’s view that happiness is fleeting, we have every reason to conclude that happiness is a matter of attitude. Those who are simple are happy though they could be poor and uneducated. Those who are selfless are also happy, in spite of their riches and education!
The zenith of such an attitude is contentment. Contentment is the greatest wealth. The world congratulates the person who is content. It is by walking through the threshold of contentment that one approaches peace. Peace is beyond happiness and sorrow. ‘What we call happiness or sorrow is nothing but our experience in nature, the prakriti.’ No doubt, we do not seek sorrow. But, if we are wise enough to understand that sorrow is not far away from happiness, we will give up our undue preference for happiness. Indeed, ‘How does it matter if we break our teeth with a blue stone or a white stone??!!’ Peace is the greatest achievement a human being can accomplish. He who is peaceful, he alone is happy forever. Therefore, ‘happiness is not peace.’
“Peace is happiness.” Let us achieve it through contentment, unselfishness, constant learning from everything and through service to the society.
